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"Do you think they have to worry about resonance when they design windshield wipers? I mean, if they get the timing just right, well, wrong I guess, could the windshield wipers flip the car?"

"No, the shock absorbers have a dampening coefficient."

"See, you learn something new every day. They put shock absorbers on cars to keep the windshield wipers from flipping them over."

***

(In regards to a teaching award the students give to their favorite teacher)

"I think we should give it to Dr. X."

"I don't want to give it to someone in astronomy."

"He'll get it eventually. Dr. Y will get it eventually."

"No he won't. I'll throw him off the room first."

"---"

"Actually, can I throw him off the roof on general principal?"

***

Me: "God, how do you keep track of this notation crap. A-star, A-hat, A-sub-this, A-sub-that, A-dagger."

J: "I'll bet there's an A-unicorn."

Me: "That's graduate level stuff."

J: "You know what, if I ever invent an equation, I'm going to have a variable called A-unicorn."

Me: "As long as I don't have to take the derivative of it."

J: "What would the derivative of a unicorn be?"

Me: *thinks* "A horse."

J: "What about the double derivative be?"

Me: "Donkey, and the triple derivative is a mule."

J: "What about the fourth derivative?"

Me: "It's not differentiable beyond the third derivative."

J: "If the derivative is a horse, what would the integral be?"

Me: "A bicorn."

J: "Would that make the double integral a triceratops?"

Me: "Yeah. And the nth integral is Godzilla."

J: "Godzilla."

Me: "Yes, where n is the number of spines on Godzilla's back, minus one."

J: "If we right this up, you think we could publish?"

Me: "The proof that Godzilla is the nth integral of a unicorn? That's a Nobel prize, easy."